Community

Community, that’s what we’re working towards isn’t it? Rather than being an exponent in an equation I’d rather be part of the voice of our community. When I’m at the park I don’t feel that all my little peculiarities that my family laughed at are so peculiar. I see other people who are awake. I get to take part in amazing conversations.

Wait, I just realized, we have fewer voices at the park. I don’t like this. I want to have more people to have amazing conversations with.

I want more people in the community to experience what it is like to spend more time outdoors. I want more people in the community to experience what it is like to spend time actually talking to people face-to-face, I want more people in the community to experience the wealth of ideas of their fellows.

I have been learning such amazing stuff. Really, I’m learning more and more about how to live in a way that keeps your environment as you found it. We had a great teach-in about alternative sources of energy and how the solar panel I-Renew loaned to us works. I found out how much energy various electricity eating appliances consume. And it was surprisingly easy to learn so much about the solar panel. Not that we’re all experts after an hour of discussion. There is so much more I’d love to pick from their brains. (There’s your Halloween reference 5 days early)

Unfortunately, what I have not learned since our occupation began was how to be a good facilitator at a GA. I said I would be a hard-ass, then I wasn’t. I let shit go on for far too long and ended up just giving up and asking someone else to facilitate. A little embarrassing, but I’ll live. This occupation has helped/forced/encouraged me to grow in new and unexpected ways. To me it is so big that no matter how pissed I get at various (bullshit in my mind) things, I have to keep coming back. I’ve been waiting for the people to wake up, stand up and speak up for far too long to abandon this movement.

I’m eating crow too.

I bought it hook, line, and sinker. When the city came and said they were willing to let us build something to stay safe and warm through the winter I thought there was no point in fighting on a principle. They were willing to give us a four month renewable permit – and from what I understood it was pretty much automatic renewal as long as we took care of the park. I figured we had larger battles to fight. It seemed that so much horribleness was going on, on such an unprecedented scale it was pointless to fight with the government of a liberal city willing to work with us. Some were so against even talking about a permit; saying the First Amendment was all the permit we needed. (I was one of them before Mark Moran and Tom Markus came to speak to us.)

So here I am now, wondering how will we figure this out? Obviously, we are not going to go away, crawling back to our comfy couches, microwaves and x-boxes. Ah, that reminds me. I was bitching to someone about something or other about the commitment people have to this movement. This kind person said to me, “We have to get people out of their homes.” Floored me. I stayed every night until I almost exploded, then I decided to go home to take care of myself and I haven’t slept there since – despite saying almost every night that I’m going to. I must admit, I am an American who has been pampered with a heated home to sleep in; I am used to cooking on a stove in a modern kitchen. It’s so much more comfortable to be comfortable.

But if this is to be an occupation, we really do need more people to sleep in the park. That is one of the reasons winter committee has been brainstorming and acting on so many ideas; we want to be WARM through the winter. I feel that if we want real change we must stay visible, we can’t go back to our comfy heated homes every night. We need to put our bodies where our mouths are. And please, call me on this if I don’t sleep at the park tomorrow night.

Even if you absolutely cannot sleep in the park even one day a week, please come down and talk to us. You can support Occupy Iowa City just by coming to the park and having conversations with us. We crave what your heart, your hands, your voice, and your energy bring to this new world we are creating.

I sent this poem to a free protest poetry zine being distributed on Wall Street

 tremendous loft

I am a peace cutter. Drink in the city and the city drinks you right back.

Breathe the fear out like you’d turn off a video game and

there will be a ______________, then

                                (tree)

_______________________.

      (tree, plural)

And here I shouldn’t forget about the doves.

Tent city and the armchair cupholders

are  ____________________________________. We fly like
                           (vast adverb)

joy might from screens, memories.

           

The _____________________________________________________________

         (noun with the Piranha Plant from Mario 3, but not the one from Mario 1)

doves.

I’m not a revolutionary, I’m just a man in a _____________________________.

                                                                                                 (funny hat)

I used to smoke a lot of weed with my friends and play

insane card games with rules

that trailed off into the dark of the surrounding suburban wooded

enclaves like

ribbon-frayed smoke __________________. That was then.
                                            (trails)
The war is waiting.

                                         

Sometimes an outsider would visit and sometimes we played

the Mario 3 level with the giant fish for hours on end.

How it flew, ate us up and we were so glad to be that

way. Once I stayed up all night writing my manifesto.

Today we’ll write it together.

________________, the doves. What about the doves.

 (occupation)

Delusions of Grandeur

Somehow, before Saturday night I couldn’t see that I had overstepped my bounds. When did this become MY OCCUPATION?

I was so worried about the people sleeping in 28 degree weather that my common sense flew right out my ears. As it left, it plugged my ears so I couldn’t hear any reservations about the brilliance of my plan.

For days everyone was talking about how cold it was just to be at the GA for a couple hours. And most of us then rushed to our heated homes and comfy beds. Some regular campers had started crashing on people’s couches. I was afraid for the health and safety of the people who were staying. I MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS! That thought completely took hold of me. I could think of nothing else. I had to do something and I had to do it NOW. I was convinced that it was the right thing to do and of course everyone else would see the truth of that.

Saturday night’s GA disabused me of my delusions of grandeur. I immediately began to feel defensive. Then I started worrying that my bad behavior was going to be horrible for the occupation, things might just come crashing down. Oops, I guess all my delusions of grandeur were not quite gone. I really am not so important that my actions will destroy a whole movement.

I was so impressed with DSM’s setup. I posted a request for the donations of easy-ups and tarps. None came. I started looking into it and realized how expensive the easy-ups are. An occupier who has done carpentry work suggested it would be better and cheaper to build a wooden frame, cover it with tarps, insulate with something, and more tarps on the inside. BRILLIANT. Gotta do it. Gotta do it. Gotta do it now.

We started calling around to see if we could get some wood donated, no luck. Gotta get it done, people will freeze. Screw it, I’ll pay my bills later. Gotta get people warm. I’ll use my own money and of course the GA will vote to reimburse me. Go, go, go!

We ended up not getting it up in time for that cold cold night. But building went forward anyway. People were not impressed. Well they were impressed with the structure, but not with the unilateral decision I made in a lateral movement. And they were right. So right.

I woke up this morning feeling horrible. I felt that if I just made decisions on my own and didn’t respect the process how could I expect others to. That’s not the movement I signed up for. And I’m the one who made this huge mistake. I had visions of myself standing up at GA, saying I wouldn’t accept reimbursement. I did wrong and I should pay for it. But how will I pay my bills?

Luckily a friend talked me down and made me realize I didn’t have to publicly flog myself in some grand gesture of contrition. More delusions of grandeur.

So, here I am, saying I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. I now realize I abused the process. This is definitely been a learning experience for me. And THANK YOU to all the occupiers and supporters for being kind to me even after I made such a blunder.

Part of the reason I’m telling you all this is so that you feel free to sit on me if I start thinking I’m all that. Please remind me I’m inclined to delusions of grandeur.

My Take

I got up this morning ready to go to Des Moines to stand in solidarity with our brother and sister occupiers who were arrested. And they loved that we were there. At Peoples’ Park they made a beautiful poster for us and signed it.

8 AM. Quickly checking e-mail, I find one from Michael Moran, Parks & Rec Director, saying he and Tom Markus, City manager, were available to come to tonight’s GA.

Now, you may remember that I was opposed to getting a permit. I’m sure if you’ve been around me at camp, you’ve heard my opinions on it. Absolutely No Way! And I was so sick of talking about it every freakin night! But, obviously it was important and that’s why we did talk about it every night (even though you all didn’t just go along with my opinion, the best one.)

So I answered:

I'm looking forward to it.

The GA will be at College Green. Dress warmly, it's windy there.

Dammit! I’m supposed to send out the e-mail telling everyone that they’ll be at the GA. Password has changed. Who the hell has the password now?? I get on facebook, start texting, talking to people. That’s all I can do.

On to Des Moines.

About 30 miles from IC there starts up this terrible noise from my car. My wonderful 1992 Honda Accord, Delsi is getting old, but she never stops working. We pull off at the exit where the outlet mall is. Williamsburg maybe? We briefly discussed the option of saying forget DSM, we’ll just get some stuff for the occupation at Gap, maybe a little Tommy Hellfinger. Ah, but it’s an exhaust problem. On to DSM! (loudly)

WE SHUT WELLS FARGO DOWN! WE SHUT WELLS FARGO DOWN! WE SHUT WELLS FARGO DOWN!

Seriously, we all grooved over there, chanting out “WE ARE THE 99%” and “BANKS GOT BAILED OUT, WE GOT SOLD OUT” And there’s a sign on the door saying they were closed due to an unexpected emergency. DAMN RIGHT IT’S AN EMERGENCY!

WE ARE THEIR FUCKING EMERGENCY!

It was great. The peoples’ mic was used to tell personal stories and we got an (unexpectedly long, but still great) poem. As we walked back to the courthouse we waved through the windows to the suits.

The courthouse was quite a madhouse. We filled that sucker up. People talking to each other eventually reached a decibel level that had the gatekeepers telling us to lower the volume. It was pretty damn loud. But really, it was just a bunch of people talking; none of us were trying to be loud, but when you have that many conversations going in a place that has, what, 20 foot ceilings?

We packed the courtroom. We fuckin packed it. The court knew who we were and why we were there. It was mostly routine (so, so, so easy to say when you’re not the one going in front of the judge.) Most pleaded not guilty, a few pleaded guilty and read statements. There were some pretty awesome statements too. The first guy must have been about 70? And he was pissed! He went over quite a bit of the recent history of how we’ve been fucked. It drew a lot of applause. Of course, the judge then said no applause, but we always have our – jazz hands, twinkles – I’m not sure which is worse, we have to come up with a new name for agreement gestures. The last guy who pleaded guilty read from Letter From A Birmingham Jail. Awesome.

Delsi announces her presence to all as we make our way to Peoples’ Park in DSM. What a setup! Those people are here for the duration, they are warm, they’ve got a freakin livefeed, they are warm, they are putting tents inside of tents, using bags of leaves and hay bales to insulate. They’ve got two porta potties and a hand washing station. Their permit runs out in a few days.

No password when we get back, but Outreach Training and awesome food.

Time for GA.

Michael Moran and Tom Markus are not at the top of the agenda. And Tom didn’t follow my advice to dress warmly. By the time we're 45 minutes into the meeting he’s trying to warm his ears with his cold hands. Somebody gives him a pair of gloves.

These guys stood up at the GA and told us that they want to work with us not against us. The back and forth went on for a long ass time. This is what it finally came down to: they want us to get a permit (they talked to the city attorney about just issuing one and being done with it, but no, govt has processes too.) They are cool with us building shelters for the winter as long as we can eventually take them down, and that they are not so elaborate that building codes would come into effect.

Michael was concerned with us taking care of the park and was appreciative of the efforts we have made in that respect. Moving the tents, keeping it clean, having no alcohol, no drugs (xcept cigs) and non-violence. He talked about propane heaters instead of fire pits because of the drunks coming through the park.

Tom talked a lot about how much they wanted to work with us, talked about the community reaction (I’m gonna camp wherever I want without a permit) talked about how much the city wants to work with us, talked about mutual respect, local level government.

Damn! I’m starting to sound like a cheerleader and that’s not what I mean at all. I guess what I’m thinking is that Iowa City fucking rocks. How many places around the freakin US and the world are having incredible problems just in making their voices heard. How many videos have you seen of violence, brutality, and repression?

What finally clinched it for me though, was when I asked about the 30 day aspect of this permit. Michael said that was just an arbitrary number P & R came up with because they had never given a permit longer than 5 days. Again, GA back and forth. Now 4 month permit, keeping lines of communication open. And if we have problems with provisions in the permit P & R is willing to change them before we sign (as occupyiowacity.) 4 months, when people are getting their heads bashed in after 2 days?

So I changed my mind. I’ve gone from the system is so fucking corrupt that there is no level of government you can safely work with to FUCK!! are we fucking lucky or what!! What will it mean to our brothers and sisters out there standing their ground in some pretty goddamn adverse situations, getting beaten up and pepper sprayed, if we say,” Oh, so we can exercise our First Amendment rights without you going all militant on our asses? No fucking way. “

Seriously, did you ever think I’d make sure a complete turn-around in such a short period of time? I think we should all work on getting out to other occupations. We could go throughout Iowa, Wisconsin, oh shit, somebody else might have to drive if we want to talk over the exhaust.

General Assemblies (yes it's part of the democratic process) (which doesn't mean we can't make it better)

General Assemblies:

Uughhhhhh

Wonderful: full of wonder.

We have been conditioned, in pretty much every aspect of our lives, to know that someone will tell us what to do and/or we will tell others what to do.

Aaaarrrggghhhhh!! This is what makes General Assemblies so frustrating. And so beautiful. It is exhilarating to be heard, as part of a community, committed to embodying/communicating/experimenting with/ consensus. (Yes, jazz hands included. Steve you know you showed your jazz hands when it came to having a cigarette. A matter of degrees?)

It does take a long time. It does get better. It is frustrating and it is exhilarating.

I try to keep my comments short and to the point. But c’mon, let’s face it; we don’t have experience doing this. I have to tell you, and I probably have, that I think my opinions are vitally important. Vitally Important.

Knowing that, and knowing that I do love telling others my opinions. I really want to go to a model where people who haven’t spoken much go to the top of the stack. Some of our discussions go on night after night without any resolution. (Yes, I am talking about the permit issue.) I think those of us who have been at the GAs know the issue, our opinion, their opinions, others’ opinions. But I did notice tonight that the people who showed up for the first time left pretty quickly.

And I’m glad. Because at GAs we tend to debate things to freaking death. We are not Jesuits determining how many freakin angels can dance on the freakin head of a freakin pin. Damn it! We are talking about the direction in which we want our world to go.

Let's get our shit together and work some things out. We are not creating the next constitution. We don't need to make sure every single freakin word resonates with every single freakin aspect of our being.

Paralysis by analysis. This is not what I want. I WANT REAL CHANGE!! Let's work out the pretty language later, whaddaya say?